Why I’m Putting Myself First—Without Apology
Somewhere along the way, we were told that putting ourselves first was selfish.
That taking a break meant we were lazy.
That saying "no" was rude.
That rest, pleasure, and peace had to be earned—only after we’ve crossed everything off everyone else’s to-do list.
But something shifted in me after I turned 40.
I got tired of being tired.
Tired of saying yes when I meant no.
Tired of squeezing myself into roles and routines that no longer fit.
So I made a quiet, radical decision:
I’m putting myself first. Without apology.
This Isn’t a Midlife Crisis—It’s a Midlife Awakening
The beauty of your 40s? You stop needing permission.
You stop waiting for someone else to validate your worth.
You stop contorting yourself to make everyone else comfortable.
I’ve realized that being everything for everyone left very little for me. And truthfully, the people I love deserve a whole me, not a depleted version clinging to the edge of burnout.
Self-prioritization isn’t selfish—it’s survival. It’s strategy. It’s self-respect.
What “Putting Myself First” Looks Like
No, I didn’t run off to Bali (though that does sound tempting).
Instead, I started doing the small things that whispered, "You matter."
Morning walks before checking my phone
Saying no to events I don’t feel aligned with
Investing in skincare, supplements, and clothes that make me feel radiant
Making space for hobbies with no purpose other than joy
Asking for help instead of martyring myself silently
Letting go of relationships that only thrive on guilt and obligation
Boundaries Are My Love Language
One of the boldest acts of self-love? Boundaries.
I don’t apologize for needing time alone.
I don’t explain myself when I decline something.
I don’t over-justify my decisions to anyone who doesn’t live in my body or pay my bills.
Saying “no” is saying “yes” to my peace, my energy, and my dreams.
Here’s the Truth:
The people who benefit from your burnout will be the first to call you selfish when you start choosing yourself.
Let them.
Because the more I choose me, the more vibrant, grounded, and generous I actually become.
Not from obligation—but from overflow.
If You Needed a Sign…
This is it.
You don’t have to burn out to prove your worth.
You don’t have to put everyone else first to be loved.
You are allowed to choose you—loudly, gently, unapologetically.
Because when women start putting themselves first, the world doesn’t fall apart.
It gets better.
💫 Shoppable Self-Love Favorites:
(Affiliate links may apply)
Silk sleep mask – because deep rest is sacred
Luxury bath soaks – turn your bathroom into a retreat
Boundaries book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab